⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING - This article discusses domestic violence, abuse, trauma, and homicide statistics. Please prioritize your well-being and proceed with care.
Domestic violence is a silent storm that destroys lives behind closed doors. It affects every community, every background, and leaves deep emotional scars. For many Muslim women and children in Canada, it’s made even harder by fear, shame, and isolation.
At Nisa Foundation, we believe that knowledge brings freedom. The more we understand the truth, the better we can protect and empower survivors. Let’s break down some common myths about domestic violence—and the truths that set people free.
Many survivors are told to “keep it in the family” to protect honour or reputation. But silence only allows violence to continue. No religion, including Islam, allows harm, oppression, or cruelty.
Canadian law protects every person, regardless of background. Seeking help—from the police, shelters, or services like Nisa Foundation—is not betrayal; it’s an act of courage. Choosing safety is never shameful—it’s the first step toward freedom.
If you or someone you know is in danger or needs support, please reach out.
Nisa Foundation offers safe, culturally and spiritually sensitive help for Muslim women and children in Canada. Apply at nisafoundation.ca/apply — you are not alone, and help is here.
Many abusers never raise a hand, yet they leave deep emotional scars through other forms of manipulation:
These forms of control trap victims just as powerfully as physical violence — leaving no bruises, but breaking confidence, freedom, and hope.
Abusers may blame stress, anger, or even their partner’s behaviour—but these are excuses, not reasons. No action, word, or mistake ever justifies violence. Like all other religions, Islam clearly rejects all forms of harm or oppression. When an abuser twists religious or cultural beliefs to justify violence, it’s not faith—it’s manipulation. Prophet Muhammad SAW said: “The best of you is he who is best to his family.” [Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah]
Every six days in Canada, a woman is killed by her intimate partner. In 2023 alone, police reported around 350 victims of family violence for every 100,000 Canadians — and that’s just the cases we know about. Experts estimate that up to 70% of abuse is never reported. That means thousands of women suffer in silence every single day — behind doors that look just like ours. (Canadian Women’s Foundation, 2023)
For Muslim and immigrant women, the numbers may be even higher. Many stay quiet out of fear — fear of deportation, losing family honour, or being blamed instead of being believed. But silence doesn’t make abuse less real; it just makes it more dangerous.
Many of our clients at Nisa Foundation have told us they stayed silent out of fear — of judgment, rejection, or losing their status in Canada. Their courage to finally seek help reminds us that safe, understanding spaces don’t just change lives — they save them.
Many women stay not because they want to, but because they’re trying to survive. They fear losing their children, being left homeless, or even being killed if they try to escape. In fact, 75% of domestic violence homicides happen after separation or an attempt to leave.
(Canadian Women’s Foundation, 2023)
At Nisa Foundation, we see incredible bravery every day. Each woman who reaches out for help is taking a powerful step toward safety — even when it feels impossible. Leaving isn’t weakness. It’s courage.
Money doesn’t stop abuse; it only makes it easier to hide. We see women with university degrees, successful careers, and beautiful homes living in constant fear. Behind closed doors, control can look like cutting off access to bank accounts, isolating a partner from friends, or using wealth as a weapon.
In Canada, 1 in 4 women with a university degree has experienced abuse from a partner. (Statistics Canada, 2021)
That means education, income, and status don’t protect anyone — because abuse isn’t about anger or poverty. It’s about power and control.
They live under constant fear and pressure while protecting themselves and their children. Staying may be a way to survive until it’s safe to leave. Courage doesn’t always look like walking away. Sometimes, it’s simply surviving another day.
On average, it takes a survivor seven attempts before she can leave for good — because leaving is never simple. Each attempt carries risk and uncertainty,
“Staying isn’t weakness, it’s survival under threat.”
- (Harvard Kennedy School, Gender Violence Study, 2022)
Most abusers can control their behaviour perfectly well. They don’t attack their boss or neighbours — only their partner. That shows abuse is a choice, not a “loss of temper.” Anger management won’t fix abuse. Taking responsibility and changing controlling behaviour will.
Even if they don’t witness the violence directly, they absorb the fear and tension. Growing up in an abusive home deeply affects their emotional and mental health.
1 in 3 children exposed to domestic violence experiences lasting harm. (UNICEF, 2022)
When we protect women, we protect children’s futures too.
Abuse happens because of control, not intoxication. Many people drink or use substances without becoming violent. Unless an abuser accepts responsibility, treating addiction alone won’t stop the violence.
They can seem kind, polite, or generous in public, while being controlling or violent in private. The truth is, an abuser can be among us — a neighbour, coworker, friend, or even a community leader — and we might never know. Survivors often hide the abuse out of fear or shame. Only 1 in 4 victims ever tells someone what’s happening. (Canadian Women’s Foundation, 2023)
You might not see the signs, but that doesn’t mean it’s not real.
After violence, abusers may cry, apologize, or promise to change — but without real accountability, the pattern repeats. This is called the cycle of abuse:
1. Tension builds — small arguments, fear, or control start increasing.
2. Explosion — the abuser lashes out through physical, emotional, or verbal violence.
3. Apologies — the abuser apologizes, gives gifts, or acts loving to regain control.
Then, the cycle starts all over again. These temporary apologies create false hope and make it harder for survivors to leave. Real change takes accountability, therapy, and time — not flowers or promises.
In an abusive relationship, joint therapy can be dangerous. It can give the abuser more tools to manipulate. Survivors need safety and individual support first, not shared counselling. not control and fear.
Abusers may stalk, harass, or use children and community pressure to keep control. Post-separation abuse is common and dangerous — that’s why safety planning is so important even after leaving.
Reporting isn’t breaking a family apart. It’s saving future generations. Remaining silent allows the abuse to continue and increases the likelihood that children will be affected by or perpetrate violence later in life. 60% of children in abusive homes grow up to witness or experience violence again. (Journal of Family Psychology, 2022)
When we ignore abuse, we protect the abuser — not the victim. Many survivors say what hurt most wasn’t the violence itself, but how no one around them spoke up or offered help. Your voice, your concern, or even a small act of support can make a life-changing difference.
You don’t need to be an expert to help. Check in, listen, or share resources like Nisa Foundation. If you’re unsure where to start, our Guide for Allies can help you recognize the warning signs and learn how to support someone safely and with compassion. Even small acts of care can make a big difference.
Bystander intervention increases survivor safety by up to 50%. (SafeLives, 2023)
This powerful teaching reminds us that doing nothing is never an option. Being an ally — offering help, listening, or guiding someone to safety — is an act of faith, compassion, and courage.
Nisa Foundation is dedicated to empowering and supporting Muslim women and their children who have experienced abuse. By providing a culturally and spiritually sensitive safe haven, we directly address the intersecting barriers of language, faith, and family honour that often prevent survivors in the Muslim community from seeking help. Our mission goes beyond shelter; we offer vital services like trauma counselling, resource referral for legal and immigration issues and empowerment programs that equip women with the skills and confidence to rebuild their lives in safety and dignity, affirming that seeking safety is an act of strength, not shame.
Your support changes lives. Give the gift of a safe night and a new future. Make your secure donation today to help a woman move from being a victim to a thriving survivor.
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