When someone is struggling with suicidal thoughts, it can feel scary to step in. You might worry about saying the wrong thing or making it worse. But silence can leave them feeling even more alone. Showing up calmly, compassionately, and without judgment; can really make a difference, even if you don’t know exactly what to say.
Find a quiet, private space where the person feels safe. Avoid having this conversation in public or when either of you is rushed. It may take the person a while to open up and you want to avoid rushing the process when possible.
Instead of saying, “You seem depressed,” or “I notice you have been acting crazy or psycho.” try:
“I’ve noticed you’ve been quieter lately, and I’m worried about you.”
“I” statements focus on your observations without making the other person feel judged or defensive. Try to keep the statements more neutral to avoid triggering the other person into thinking that something is wrong with them.
Resist the urge to “fix” the problem right away. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is to simply listen and validate their feelings:
“That sounds really painful. I’m sorry you’re going through this.”
Validating their feelings does not mean that you need to agree with them or with their decision to want to take their own life. Rather it focuses on the fact that you are acknowledging their pain and holding space for them to share their feelings.
Your tone, facial expressions, and posture speak volumes. Stay open, calm, and steady. Avoid looking shocked, angry, or dismissive.
It’s important to maintain open body language and show empathy. Reacting to someone saying they want to die with shock or telling them that’s haram is going to cause them to shut down. Maintain eye-contact and neutral facial expressions.
As humans it is second nature for us to jump to conclusions or share our own opinions. But this is not the time for moralizing or debating whether suicide is “right” or “wrong.” This kind of approach can lead to more shame and isolation.
Encourage them to share more by asking gentle questions like:
These kinds of questions are non-judgmental and allow the person to share what they are feeling without us assuming anything about them. They can also be more thought-provoking and allow the person to learn more about why they are feeling a certain way.
Your role is not to replace professional help but to bridge the gap toward it. Offer to:
If you believe someone is in immediate danger, do not leave them alone. Call 911 or a suicide prevention line.
Remember: You don’t have to have all the answers to make a difference. Sometimes, being a calm, non-judgmental presence is the first step in helping someone choose life. At the end of the day, showing up with patience, empathy, and presence can be the most powerful form of suicide prevention.